The Smart Girl’s Guide to Hacking Your Health Insurance

This shit is complicated and therefore spensy. But we figured it out for you.

Is it weird that I need people with law and medical degrees to explain a thing I’m supposed to choose and pay for all by myself? Yes. It’s effing weird! And it’s stupid! And it makes me *feel* stupid.

I’m not alone in this trash fire that is being a grown-up with no idea how to deductible or why a UTI costs more than a boozy brunch. A whole 73 percent of Cosmo readers say health care is their biggest issue ahead of the 2020 election—because (as anyone with a bank account and a human body knows and as we have already said but will say again) insurance and medical bills are confusing and expensive.

So welcome, friends, to the type of content our college course loads could’ve actually used. Keep reading to finally learn how to do this stuff and, yes, even save some money.

(P.S. I’d love the address and Twitter handle of whoever decided teeth and eyes require their own insurance. Thank you.) —Ashley Oerman

1. YOU HAVE A JOB THAT GIVES YOU PLAN OPTIONS

Can I just pick...nothing?

Please don’t do that. It may seem like your choices are (1) lose a chunk of your paycheck every month or (2) sacrifice it all later in the form of a boob ultrasound, but let’s be clear: You. Need. Insurance. It’s a huge risk to go without if, say, your texting-and-walking skills fail and a broken leg costs you $7,000.

Okay, so which do I choose?

If you see a doctor more than three times a year (not counting your annual gyno exam, which is free if you’re insured) and make less than $50,000, go with the PPO, which usually has the lowest deductible. True, its premium will take the biggest bite out of your paycheck, but it will have more in-network doctors (read: cheaper appointments), and the out-of-pocket costs should be low enough that if you have a questionable skin exam and need a biopsy, you won’t be out a million dollars. Or if you are feeling lucky, er, healthy and have savings to cover the entire deductible, you could pick a cheaper, high-deductible plan that comes with a health savings account, aka HSA. If you *don’t* have that emergency fund, just know a medical bill for an accident can clean you out and trash your credit score. Proceed with caution.

2. YOU CAN’T GET INSURANCE THROUGH YOUR JOB OR YOU’RE YOUR OWN BOSS

Where exactly is the insurance store again?

It’s at Healthcare.gov, the federal health-insurance marketplace where you can buy coverage available in your area or get connected with your state’s health-insurance site, if it has one.

And what do I buy here?

Put in your age, salary, and zip code, and you’ll see a list of high- and low-deductible plans you can buy and discounts you qualify for. (Yay, coupons!) You’ll find only regulated, non-sketchy ones here. Just remember: High-deductible options cost less per month but cheapo plan = cheapo coverage.